“Elenore, gee I think you’re swell…
January 27, 2010
…and you really do me well!”
The Eleanor I’m referring to is the lovely first lady, Eleanor Roosevelt. She really has done me well. She said it all:
“Do something everyday that scares you.” & “You must do things you think you cannot.”
Quite frankly, this is the best advice I’ve ever received, albeit it was not personally directed to me. The only force great enough to keep you from pursuing your ambitions and your desires is that which lies within yourself. I find these two quotes, which coincidentally share the same origin, to be the truest, most sincere, and highly motivating that anyone could hear. In retrospect, I’d be lost without these words.
Once upon a time, I was blue. Blue without a cause, blue without a beat… just blue. In the dark days of my dysfunctional relationship with food and with myself, I was scared of many things. Scared to socialize, scared to branch out. Just flat out scared of everything. To simplify this equation of epic & depressing proportions, I will use peanut butter as my example.
I wouldn’t touch it, not with a 100 10 foot pole. Nutritional content aside (high fat content), the whole essence of it petrified me. The nutty aroma, a said ‘creamy’ texture, rich taste… it was off limits due to my nonsensical notion that it was an extreme ‘indulgence’. That it was in everyones favorite snack–pb&j–just added salt to the wound. Everyone ate it, so I took that as another reason to avoid it. Case in point, I feared it greatly.
Once I had my head on straight and officially DECLARED my desired independence from my eating disorder, I reckoned the first thing I ought to do was eat some damn peanut butter, because, honestly, I was sick of being scared. I bit the bullet and reintroduced peanut butter into my life. I faced my fear head on and am now reaping the benefits. I walked into the light. I am happier now than I ever have been, and all it took was some balls and the audacity to kick my eating disorder’s ass. I just did it. I stopped asking questions, I stopped worrying about all the ifs, ands, or buts… I was determined… and with my determination, I did something that scared me. I did something I thought I couldn’t. That one choice lead to many others, resulting in a much stronger Sam ( who is currently enjoying a lovely and indefinitely long state of matrimony with peanut butter )
Seriously, do something everyday that raises the hairs on your arm. Do something that would normally send you on a quest for excuses. Just do it. Whether it be eating a big bowl of ice cream, riding a bike for the first time (and you’re not a little kid), or confronting a friend… it’s better if you just do it, for life is too short to sweat the little things. Live in happiness, not in fear.
I don’t normally like to discuss on the blog my days of my eating disorder, but I felt it appropriate in this post. I hope you can take something from this.
Have a terrific evening!